The Push and Pull of a Dream
Why excitement and fear often travel together — and how to move anyway.
A Story I Keep Coming Back To
For the longest time, I’ve wanted to start a YouTube channel.
I can picture it clearly — sharing reflections on purpose, work, and what it means to live a life aligned with what matters.
And every time I think about it, two feelings arrive almost together: excitement and fear.
Excitement about the dream, the creative freedom, and the chance to connect with people who care about the same questions.
Fear that I won’t keep it up, Fear that I’ll run out of things to say. Fear that it and thus I won’t be good enough.
That inner tension — wanting to start yet holding back — isn’t just procrastination.
It’s the natural push and pull of a meaningful goal.
Why The Push And Pull Is Holding You Back
Psychologists call this an approach–avoidance conflict.
It happens when the same goal triggers two competing systems in the brain — one that pulls you forward, and one that quietly holds you back.
A 2016 review in Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews (Coombes, Cauraugh & Janelle) showed that when we imagine pursuing a meaningful goal, the brain lights up both the reward system (which motivates us to act) and the threat system (which protects us from failure).
That’s why big ambitions feel both energizing and paralyzing.
The same research found that when people shift focus from the large outcome to a small, process-level action, the threat response eases and they’re far more likely to take the first step.
So instead of thinking “launch a channel,” think “record one short reflection.”
The excitement stays; the fear quiets.
How To Get Started …
If there’s something you’ve been wanting to begin — something that lights you up but also stirs hesitation — try this short reflection:
Name the goal.
Write down one thing you’ve been wanting to start or explore.
Example: “Start a YouTube channel about meaningful work.”Map the light and shadow.
Under Light, list what excites you. Example: “I’d love to share ideas that might help others think differently.”
Under Shadow, note what detracts or scares you. Example: “I’m afraid I won’t stay consistent or that no one will watch.”
Choose a thread of light.
Pick a single element from your Light list that genuinely excites you.
Example: “I’m most excited about learning in public — just exploring ideas out loud.”Take one small step.
Make it approachable by asking yourself: “What’s the smallest thing I could do to begin?”
Example: “Record a one-minute voice note sharing a thought from this week.”
Clarity rarely comes before action — it’s what begins to form once we start moving.
The Gentle Way Forward
You don’t have to silence the part that’s afraid.
You just have to give the part that’s excited a chance to lead.
This week, let both voices come along — fear in the passenger seat, curiosity at the wheel.
And take the smallest step that feels like truth.
Warmly,
Ingo